


Family - And Other Curiosities of Life

by GabeyBabey



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Orphan Keith (Voltron), POV Second Person, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 17:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20839238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabeyBabey/pseuds/GabeyBabey
Summary: You’re Keith Kogane. You don’t do sadness. You haven’t since you were five years old and the first foster family shipped you away like you were nothing more than a broken toy. The stars swirl overhead, a cold vacuum that was as suffocating as much as it was a breath of fresh air. You hadn’t realized that you had collapsed until you saw your own hand reach out above you, reaching reaching reaching for something you could never get back. You slept there, a directionless wind barely making a stirring in the endless sands.Funny, how you had never realized what you missed until you had it. The gaping hole Takashi left behind ripped you apart every day, plucking at the scar tissue marring your heart like violin strings.





	Family - And Other Curiosities of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first ever work on Archive (or anywhere), so go a little easy on me! (I just,,,,lov my boi,,,,,,I must write for,,,,,,him,,,,,,)

You hadn't necessarily ever missed your family, they were just never there to miss. Nothing was missing, you thought, not really. Your earliest memories aren't of the smiles of a mother, or the gentle hands of a father, but of the desert. Wild and untameable and free. Your soul howls along with the screeching winds of levity. You know, somewhere deep down, that you must have had parents at some point. But they just felt like sand, slipping between the grip of child-like fingers and blowing away in the scorching wind. You used to imagine what they would be like, if you looked more like your father or your mother, if the odd violet eyes you were constantly teased for ran in the family. Staring in the mirror for hours, examining every detail, every oddity that you had been mesmerized by ever since you started really looking at everyone else. Cheekbones just a little too high, features just a little too angular, nails and teeth just a little too sharp. Somewhere, deep down, you always knew you were something else. Admitting it, though, was an entirely different matter.

Foster homes came and went, and with it went the people. You taught yourself to never get attached, one too many nights lying awake and thinking of the families you could have had, all of the children you could have been, forced you to hold yourself differently. You kept everything tightly wound, a bowstring taught and prepared to spring for the kill. You built a suit of armor around your heart and held it close, its scarred surface reminding you every day that it was better like this. Faces blurred, state lines becoming imperceptible as you bounced around. Texas to Oklahoma to Florida to Nevada to New Mexico until you just stopped bothering with keeping track. Later in life, you would think back on your childhood as others reminisced and find yourself smiling fondly at the feeling of cactus spines, the endless night sky, and the taste of dust. Red sandstone became your childhood home, the biting cold wind of a desert night a long lost friend.

You remembered some things, of course. The kids that would push you around, the foster parents that made you feel like less than nothing, the bitter loneliness that came with a new town every few weeks. In your teenage years, you became resentful. You knew it wasn't fair of you, and it made you feel like shit more often than not, but you were just so angry. You didn't need family, you didn't need friends, you were fine. The bowstring got just a little tighter, just waiting for a moment to finally let go. It came in some backwater ass town in whatever state it was now. The Galaxy Garrison held compassion for no man, least of all you. The cadets were ruthless, eager jaws snapping at the momentarily exposed jugular of your weakness. You barely held back tears as you stood in that fucking line, Shiro was wrong, wrong, wrong! Everything was too bright, too loud, too much. You sucked in a shaky breath as Commander Iverson barked out some demoralizing speech you didn't give a fuck about. Every word grated on you, driving a hammer into your skull over, and over, and _ove- _

"What's wrong, Kogane? Gonna go cry to your _mommy?_ Too weak to handle a little bit of yelling? Awww, poor baby." That little fucker, James Griffin, turned to you with a shit-eating grin, the glinting teeth of a ravenous wolf on display. He had it out for you since the beginning, your score in the testing simulator had been just twenty points higher than his, and he was determined to ruin your life ever since. He looked at you, eyes full of malice and innocence you _wish_ you still had. You _wish_ you had his life. You watched as his parents dropped him off at the front gate, both giving him hugs and kisses and everything you had wished you had. The bowstring pulled a little tighter as the war drums raged in your mind, pounding against your skull and your heart and pressing your muscles to move.

The wolf's jaws snapped as it closed in for the kill. In your mind's eye, the lion roared as the bowstring finally snapped. You moved, and you ripped Griffin apart for everything he took from you, everything you had to lose to come here. The lion ripped into the wolf, fluttering pulse frantically beating like the pounding of your fists into his slimy little skull. You were torn away, but the song of the hunt still sung strong in your very bones. You heard whispers afterward that you had fought like a beast, clawing at Iverson and anyone in range as you desperately reached for Griffin. Sitting in front of the Commander's office, licking your wounds, you couldn't find it within yourself to feel sorry for what you did. Every sinew of your being howled and raged to go, to fight. Takashi slunk into the hallway, crouching down before you on silent feet. Every inch of him a mama lion, he coiled with rage and glared at Griffin from where he sat across the room. You nursed a bruised jaw, and something dark swelled inside of you as you looked on Griffin's broken nose and many, many bruises.

"C'mon kid, what happened?" Shiro stared into your eyes, earnest and painfully caring. You never had someone look at you like that, no one had come for you like this after a fight. He grabbed your hands from where they were clenched in your lap, holding them in his own.

"You know I'm not mad at you, just tell me what happened." Takashi leaned forward, voice held tight in a whisper. You felt a flush of shame, not for the actions you had committed, but for the sorrow you had caused in Shiro's gaze. You huffed, a hot breath fanning out over your joined hands as you snatched them away.

"Nothing, just let me get the demerit. It's fine." You cast your gaze to the side, sliding over to Griffin, his mother sitting next to him and glaring daggers in your direction. You don't really want to tell Shiro what happened, it didn't matter. You just snapped like the fucking animal you are.

"No, Keith, it really isn't. I know you. I know you don't fight without a good reason." Takashi's baby browns welled up with what looked like tears, but you knew better. Adults don't cry over you, and you sure as hell will never cry over them. You willed yourself into not feeling, donning your armor once again and glaring at Shiro with all of the pure and unbridled rage you could muster as you watched his eyes glisten.

"You don't know shit about me!" You hissed, anger coiling in your heart like a viper, "You don't know _anything_ about me, or about what I fight for!" You kept your voice at an angry whisper, but placed all of the venom you could into it. Takashi seemed stunned to silence for a moment, eyes widening in surprise. Good, you though, maybe he'll stay away this time.

"Okay, maybe I don't. But I do know this; we're family, Keith. You don't hide from family." He says in that infuriatingly kind tone, pulling you into a hug. Family. No one had ever called you that before.

* * *

"We're family, Shiro! You don't run from family!" The barracks surrounded you in an oppressive silence as the howling of a desert wind filled your mind. Tears streaked down your face, trails of fire you swore you'd never shed for anyone. Takashi held the mission debrief tightly in his clenched fist, the plain black font spelling Kerberos Mission taunts you from the page. How could he, he knew how much it meant to you that he stayed. He just, abandoned you, just like you thought he would. Takashi's voice shook as he bit back, but it remained even nonetheless.

"I'm not running from anything. This is my dream, you know that." You did know that. It was selfish, and you knew it. But for once in your goddamn life, you just wanted to be selfish. This was the one thing you had asked of him. Your voice was just as even as his, quiet and deadly, but the wind raged in your mind.

"Maybe I don't."

"I'm leaving, whether you want me to or not." Calm, Takashi was the eye of the hurricane. You fought and clawed around him, clinging to him like a lifeline. Maybe you needed to let that lifeline go. Maybe he needed you to let him go.

"I know, just don't expect me to be here when you come back."

* * *

"The Kerberos Mission was reported a failure as of this morning, the crew reported missing in action due to pilot error-" You tuned in to the very beginning of the newscast, interested in any news since you had seen "Kerberos Mission" scroll along the bottom of the screen. Fire burned a crackled in your mind, drowning out the others around you. Distantly, you felt yourself fall to your knees. Your skin crawled, and you clawed at your face and eyes and everything _burned_, and-

Pilot error, pilot error, pilot error pilot error pilot error _pilot error pilot error pilot error - _

"Kogane, get yourself together." Your head snapped up, the fire consuming your soul momentarily quelled as you stared up at the figure looming over you. Iverson - that _fucking _

"You fucking _bastard_!" You leap to your feet, the lion tearing out a roar of agony as you stalk up to the commander. You pound your fist into his left eye, feeling the socket crumple under your knuckles as he falls to the floor.

“You and I both know that Shiro was the best damn pilot this place had ever seen! You did it, I know it. What did you _do_?” Tears stream down your face and you scream, kicking in one of Iverson’s ribs. He did something, he killed Shiro you fucking knew it.

“Shirogane crashed on the surface of Kerberos after an attempt at liftoff, he killed the entire crew on impact.” Iverson looks at you, eye a bloody mess under the hand that covers it, you can only imagine the kind of damage you had done (monster monster monster _monster monster_).

“You know that isn’t true! Why the fuck are you lying?” The war drums pound behind your eyes, burning burning burning _burning_-

“Shirogane killed those peop-” You kick in another rib, the wet snap of it making bile rise in your throat. You couldn’t stop now. (oh god, shiro shiro shiro shiro takashi _takashi takash_-)

“I’ll fucking find him. I’ll kill you, I’ll kill every one of you if it means finding him.” You stop your onslaught and turn on your heel. The damage was already done.

That night, you wandered the desert. A wraith and a distant memory in the minds of the Garrison. Out here, you were far less than nothing, and you liked it better that way. You could walk for miles and miles and get lost and never think and never wonder. Fuck. You’re Keith Kogane. You don’t _do_ sadness. You haven’t since you were five years old and the first foster family shipped you away like you were nothing more than a broken toy. The stars swirl overhead, a cold vacuum that was as suffocating as much as it was a breath of fresh air. You hadn’t realized that you had collapsed until you saw your own hand reach out above you, reaching reaching reaching for something you could never get back. You slept there, a directionless wind barely making a stirring in the endless sands.

Funny, how you had never realized what you missed until you had it. The gaping hole Takashi left behind ripped you apart every day, plucking at the scar tissue marring your heart like violin strings. You kept walking through the desert for a day or two, the scorching sun drying the tears into lines of salt on your cheeks as you just kept walking until you could barely move. For the first time that you could remember, you cried for your parents. For the family you never had and for the family that you had let go too soon. A shack materialized in the distance, peering out over the dunes like a lighthouse in the ocean. You turned on the tap and red water poured from its depths, it tasted like heavenly redemption.

* * *

_T_ _akashi _

A man that looked like your brother lay on the cot, his face older and his hair different and his arm was _gone, oh god._

_Shiro_

“Nope. No, you - No, no, no. No, you don’t. I’m saving Shiro.” A very annoying voice chirps from behind you, coming up on Takashi’s other side to haul him to his feet. _Fucking_ great, this was exactly what you needed. The three stooges on your ass. You just kept going, ignoring the stowaways as much as possible. Huh, maybe they weren’t so bad. After all, they got you all here, looking at a giant robotic lion. This was the greatest day of your life.

* * *

Voltron formed, a magnificent blaze of glory as Red purred in the back of your mind. Somehow, it felt like she had always been there, like she was meant to be there. Her energy fills you and courses through your veins, a searing magma branding the very essence of your soul. You found, though, that you didn't really mind. She purrs, a playful energy brushing against your mind, her spirit glowing like the touch of a lover. The war drums fill your mind, except now the do not signal doom like they once had. Instead, they push you further, letting out a whoop as you loop and dive through the endless recesses of an unknown galaxy. She is you, and yet, she's like the one thing you were always missing, always longing for.

You feel the others, energy massively different and yet so completely the same as it meshed and melded with yours. You grin together and you act as one, drawing together and tearing that battle cruiser to absolute shreds. It was awesome. You felt the smooth brush of Takashi, heavy and friendly and low like you always knew it. Pidge, their mind jumping with elation and pride as it leaped and bounded through its own thoughts, two steps ahead. Hunk, solid and forgiving, soft as he smiles at the joy of his team, of his family. Lance, slick and quick rushing through emotions and soothing you down from the adrenaline of a fight well won. You smile, a laugh bubbling from the depths of your chest. The lions, Voltron, rumbles in approval. You think, maybe _this_ is family.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! Comments and criticism are very much appreciated! ;-;


End file.
